OkinawanWarrior

Now I have a few dating tenants as you guys have obviously seen, but two of them are race related.

Specifically on avoiding people with these mindsets when it comes to race and dating.

• People who only date inside their race.
• People who only date one or two races that aren’t theirs.

Now when I mean avoid them I mean in a dating/relationship way not being friends way. And not even avoiding them as much as just be wary. Be wary of what they say and do.

First one: People who only date inside their race. Thats obvious one. Racism/prejudice. Now, it may just be a coincidence that they only dated their own race (happens a lot). But if they specifically say “I ONLY date my own race, and won’t date others”, but then say “I’m not racist though”. Then you REALLY gotta be wary of them.

I have yet to meet any black girls who only dated inside their race specifically. But if I did, and I was interested in her, and she said that. I’d def give her the side eye. Unfortunately in todays society racism is still a big thing, and one weird side effect of the “progress”  is that people are afraid to say they are racist. They will try to come up with Evey excuse in the world to just not say their racist, when it’s obvious they have a racist mindset.  I personally wouldn’t wanna be friends with a black person who was racist/prejudice. Because even though they aren’t being racist towards me, thats still a lot of negativity in their mindset I don’t wanna be around.

Also in general, I’d either someone tell me they were racist towards black people rather than be fake and find out from someone else they were. Why waste my time?

Second one: the person who only dates a certain race outside their own. that in itself is a slippery slope. They claim, to not have  fetish for that race, but if they only have dated that race for a long period of time and they were all different  save for the fact they were that race. Guess what, they might have a (insert race here) fetish.

Now some people don’t even give a flying fuck about that, “Hey! they want me cuz of my race/body! Cool!” But is it really though?

Now once again, if it’s just coincidence that they date a lot of that race,  and it turns out the past partners have similar personality traits AND they are that race. Thats fine I guess. But you just gotta be really wary of that. Here’s a good example!

The ever popular otaku male. They LOVE anime/manga, and LOVE Asian women. Once they get old enough(college age usually) they hunt for asian girls everywhere. They’ll even try to get with one that doesn’t like anime/manga AT ALL. but it doesn’t matter cuz they are asian. See where I’m going? No one wants to date somebody like that. Because they don’t care about you, just what you represent physically

Another thing is, they may be dating that specific race to be a rebel, because they knew their parents wouldn’t approve at all.

So yea, those are just thoughts. remember this isn’t fact or law, just things I’ve observed, and things you may want to keep in the back of your head. Especially considering the 20s is such a turbulent time to be dating. Emotions everywhere.

Also, if you find yourself reading this and realizing you may be one of the people I described to avoid, I don’t mean to offend or attack, you should just think to yourself “why have I made these dating decisions? ”

I want to make a vlog on how I am able weed out negative  people.

There are a lot of folks out there who have issues with having friends/acquaintances that turn out to be disappointing for various reasons.

ie, the girl or guy who always end up saying “all girls/guys are the same”. Meaning some new potential partner or friend is just as disrespectful/disappointing for whatever reason as the last people they interacted with.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell because people really put on their best face when they meet you(especially if they are romantically/sexually interested in you), and it can also be hard because people just don’t pay attention to the red flags that pop up. They are there, almost always, you just gotta be able to learn how to spot them.

I’m gonna make this a vlog, because its hard to put it in text mainly because its kinda hard for me to put it into words how this process works, because this is so natural for my mind to be able to do this so I never needed to think of it in specific steps

Why would anyone ever like me or want to date me? Not in a “I hate myself, and/or I think of myself in a negative way”. I just not realistically the way I think, and the way average person thinks is pretty far apart.

• I’m super independent and solitary. To the point where I didn’t even text and/or call my past gfs for a day or two. Not because I was upset or cheating. Just cuz I didn’t want to talk. Who does that in relationships? haha
• I’m very blunt. to the point where I can be harsh. I try to curb it, and have some discretion, but i can still lack sensitivity sometimes.
• I analyze and question everything. If something doesn’t make sense to me, I analyze and question it until it does. Doesn’t matter what it is. This can drive people up a wall.
• I’m not a very emotional person. I’m neutral/somewhat happy  almost all the time. People tend to be able to relate to someone who is emotional. 

Overall, I’m not really complaining about it, just find it funny that those characteristics of mine(which are my core personality traits) are things that people most likely would not want to date at all. Seeing as most people are sensitive (to various degrees), Interdependent(or just straight up needy), and somewhat of accepting of most things without having to question it.

So yesterday I visited with someone I hadn’t seen in years. Only reason I actually post this because it was a friend of particular emotional significance. Someone I actually had some semi complicated feelings for. That’s right, when it comes to feeling and emotions I haven’t always had it together.

I’m not going to say it was super crazy, but it was definitely enough to shake me up a bit. I’ll start from the beginning. 

It started in HS. I’ll call her K. We were just friends for a while. No big deal. Then towards the end of senior year of highschool, she started to like me, but I didn’t like her. Then she stopped after a while. Started dating a friend of mine. That relationship was fucked up. Super fucked up. Then I started liking her. Truthfully I ALMOST fell into the nice guy trap(not fully because I didn’t have the expectation of sex, just me bot being bold enough to say anything and getting bitter). I say almost because eventually after they broke up, I told her, how I felt. She didn’t want to date, so I just left it alone, and we resumed our friendship as usual.

Overtime she got really close to another friend of mine Adam. We become a best friend trio, always doing shit and talking together. But as time went on she began to drift away from us. Became closer with her friends at her college. It happens. No big deal. She started to get pretty big into drinking and partying, and just general craziness. Also, no big deal. People change in college right? Then it happened.

She snapped on me and adam. Sent us this one long message over facebook, attacking both me and him. Now I can admit, some of the things she said of both of us were a bit true. But a lot of it was just unnecessary negative attacking. This was of course was sent after her ignoring us for long periods of time. It shifted from her drifting away from us to purposely ignoring us, but still making it seem like we were close friends(atleast I think). So after that we weren’t friends for a while. She took me and adam off of FB. I won’t lie, I was hurt and I was pissed. 

So for two years, no communication, nothing. But eventually she came around, started talking to adam first, then somewhat with me. At first I was thinking we would start hanging again. Maybe rebuild previous friendship, but no. She did the same shit, kept the same distance, same ignoring. Would start talking to us, then disappear again. So eventually I just stopped caring. So for another year we kept in contact with her, but just never got super close.

But yesterday was her bday party, and surprisingly she invited us, and I went(adam had a job fair). It was weird seeing her again, and she actually seemed to be happy to see me again. Kept saying how much she missed me and I should come visit more often.

So overall a very tumultuous relationship. But I did learn something from it, something very important.  Sometimes people change, and no matter  what your previous relationship was like, people will drift away, leave, and things will never be the same. It’s your job, to be able to accept this and just let them go.

I definitely learned to become much more logical, and how to make sure I never get so close to something that I don’t lose sight of it.

Hell I even wrote a paper on it, haha. I just changed up names is all. So whenever I give advice on liking your best friend, or possibly even loving them, or being in any kind of weird unrequited, complicated relationship, and I sound harsh and blunt? It’s because I went through it, and I know what to do to get past it. 

Let them go, and move on.

Well as you all know I’m quite the deep thinker. I think about and process my emotions in a fairly logical matter all the time. And for a while I was able to solve all of my own problems. And just think about general subjects involving myself and others. Including relationships.

I’ve had so many theories and reasons thrown my way as to why I don’t like being in relationships, and almost NONE of them apply to me. And I myself have thought a lot on it.  this is where it gets heavy. 

If you don’t wanna keep reading and deal with intense shit I suggest going away. But if you’re interested and/or care continue on.

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For a while, I’ve been thinking about dating and fitness. I’ve dated non fit folks in the past and it was okay…then. But now things have changed, I’ve changed. For one due to a lot of observation I’m now starting to really realize what I want in a relationship. Physically, mentally, emotionally. One of those things is that my gf HAS to be a fitblr.

Now I know fitblrs date “normal” people without incident, and that’s cool and nice. But the more I think about the more I realize that I need to date a girl who like fitness and health. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Mainly because everything I do physically is extreme.

• Lifting
• Bodyweight/calisthenics
• yoga
• running
• plyo and explosive exercises
• parkour
• martial arts
• other sports
• outdoors/hiking/climbing

I’ve come to realize that fitness isn’t just a hobby or even a lifestyle for me, it’s who I am, it’s become apart of my core moral values. Now I’ve come to realize that a relationship doesn’t need to have everything in common to be successful, but having similar or exact core moral values is pretty damn important.

Now that’s for serious dating, if it’s casual stuff, then I can go without just a bout anyone. but serious dating, must be with a fitblr.

Now that I know who/what I want to date. It’s just a waiting game, they’ll come, eventually.

One time, I was chilling with some folks. Some of my usually friends, and some new people. We were all talking about what we like in the opposite sex. As usual I just listened to everyone and didn’t say anything.

Then this overweight/chubby girl I recently met spoke up and said “Well my men, need to be able to bench 300 lbs at the least to get with me” And I thought to myself and then whispered in my friends ear, “Why? It’s not like you do any kind of physical fitness anyway” hahahahaha. It was so funny, we were both laughing for like 30 seconds. He’s really big into working out as well, which made it even funnier.

Now, could she actually been working out herself? Yea, possibly. But something had told me she most likely wasn’t. She didn’t say anything like, “well he needs to be able to keep up with me, or workout with me”. And after working out for a while, and hanging with people who are into it, you can kind of tell who does it and who doesn’t without them saying.

But all this to say, it always makes me chuckle and slightly irritate me when I see people who aren’t fit or healthy at all, only want to go after athletic/healthy folks in a superficial manner and try to completely rule out other folks. It’s like why are alienating other folks because they are fit when you don’t even take care of yourself?

Outside of superficial looks and such, if you demand something of your partner you should be capable of this as well. Don’t be a hypocrite, no one likes a hypocrite.

Perfect example everyone can identify with. The fat sloppy douchebag dude, who only goes after really attractive slim/athletic women and constantly says “NO FAT CHICKS”. It’s like really dude? It’s alright to have preferences, but to be such a asshole about it is stupid. Half the time when dudes like him never have any girls wanting to date him it’s because he is asshole, not because he’s fat.